


i scream, you scream, we all scream for battle

by whytho



Category: Paranatural (Webcomic)
Genre: AU, Gen, Ice Cream worker AU aw heck yeah, blood mention do i tag that?, there's a horrible battle with no actual fights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 02:33:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5810164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whytho/pseuds/whytho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three facts that sum up RJ:</p>
<p>1) They are a diligent ice cream scooper.</p>
<p>2) They have extremely weird customers.</p>
<p>3) They do not deserve this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i scream, you scream, we all scream for battle

Ice cream parlors are inherently boring. It is a statement of fact. RJ, who has been working part-time in one for the past three years, knows this. 

They do not know, however, that is very easy for this for change.

It starts when a boy in a baseball cap comes in one day. He is new in town, the boy said to Collin, and would like some mint chocolate chip. Collin handed him his cone and tried to poke Dimitri awake. 

It takes off when the boy began talking to the other customers. 

(The store held an unspoken rule- you didn’t really talk to anyone, unless you came in with them. Mayview, as a college town, held many types of people, and when they intermingled it wasn’t always pretty.)

When Suzy saw that the boy was making conversation with other customers, her jaw nearly hit the floor. Collin just put his head on the table and looked at RJ for help.

“Please?” he said, eyes pleading. “You’re the only one that can talk to customers without yelling.”

RJ huffed. Suzy made the same expression as Collin. Or at least as close as she could manage.

“You’re the one that ended the Great Baxter-Spender-Garcia fight of 2014,” she said, and, “If you don’t, then it’ll escalate again.”

(The Great Baxter-Spender-Garcia fight of 2014: a period of two months when a trio of professors at the local college all tried to buy tubs of triple chocolate fudge at the same time every Tuesday for several weeks. It eventually ended when RJ locked them into the bathroom for three hours with several pans of brownies. Neither Dimitri nor Cody had found out the exact details of how RJ fixed the situation yet, which was good, because if they had, RJ would lose their job.)

Suzy and Collin attempted to sway RJ with their eyes. RJ remained resolute.

(RJ might never know why three college teachers were so desperately in need of large amounts of triple chocolate fudge ice cream. It was the third biggest mystery of Sweet Confections and Toppings, and only Suzy knew the answer to those.)

Cody looked over from where he was sitting on break. Even he seemed to be asking to RJ to do something. Despite shaking their head, RJ broke down a little, in that moment.

(The other mysteries were how Dimitri became a manager when all he did was sleep, and why there were so many people in this town that wanted ice cream in the middle of winter. And how Cody balanced being an honors student, athlete, and good friend while holding the highest position in the store.)

By the third day, the boy- Max- had spoken to eight different people, and a turf war was brewing. The balance of the shop was delicate, with certain groups of people coming and leaving at specific times. If they didn’t do that, then six would people might try to sit in the same booth, despite half of them not knowing each other. And these six people were lead by some of the most reckless, hot-headed individuals to grace Sweet Confections and Toppings with their presence.

It hits space when Max talked to the pretty, dark-haired girl (Suzy called her Isabel, but that may have been a weird nickname she’d come up with while ranting about her) for ten minutes too long. She and her friends were laughing at something Mad had said when the door to the parlor slammed open. Three dark figures stood outlined by the light.

They stalked over to the booth in the corner, occupied by Isabel and her friends,and looked down on it, scowling. Isabel automatically took a defensive position. Max tried to sink down below the seat he was leaning over.

(Was he uncomfortable, with the top of his seat pressed into his stomach like that? Probably.)

“What’re you doing here?” one of the standing people demanded. 

Isabel’s friends narrowed their eyes in response. 

Ollie, the only customer that had ever asked for RJ’s pronouns, loomed menacingly over the table. He was the nice sort, really, the only one of his friends that thought before they argued with someone, but he was also very, very threatening. Max tried to slowly reach the floor, with no avail.

The standing group stared down the one at the booth, arms crossed, until the other sighed and slid out of their booth. Max remained gaping. Apparently, he hadn’t actually realized the dangers of people engaging in conversation. 

RJ sighed. The world was going to go down hill, they could feel it. 

(As it turns out, they would be correct. Not only did the world in their store get ruined, but gas prices went up, the stock market came very close to crashing, and several towns flooded.)

Cody returned from his break and took over the counter. RJ sank to the ground behind it and covered up their face with their hands. Sympathetically, Cody patted them on the head and returned to scooping rocky road. 

The next day, the same thing happened. Max talked with the group in the corner for too long, Johnny, the leader of the second gang, got angry, and the two groups got angry. Tension rose, every day a new disaster occurring.

Now, RJ is engaged in the most violent battle of gangs they have ever seen, and this one doesn’t even have actual fights. The future of the ice cream parlor (and their job) is at stake, along with Dimitri’s nap-times and Suzy’s sanity. Isabel is ready to break some stuff, and the red-haired kid is making them lose all their customers. 

RJ does not deserve this. 

 

Typically, RJ doesn’t end up buying smoothies and band-aids for people they found on the street. Typically, RJ doesn’t find a fight on the way home from work, and typically, RJ doesn’t know the injured party well enough to have to buy them smoothies.

Typically, RJ wouldn’t know that the injured party was in the middle of a battle with three people over control of a booth in an ice cream shop.

When they found Johnny Jhonny sitting on the ground outside a 7-11, they were a little worried. (Maybe worried wasn’t the right word- apprehensive? No. They’d get back to it.) For one thing, Johnny was bloodied and black-eyed, and for another, they couldn’t see his friends anywhere. 

Hesitantly, they walked over to him, setting their bag gently on the ground. He looked up, uneasy, but relaxed when he saw who it was.

RJ took a seat next to him. Neither said anything about Johnny’s injuries.

“So, ah,” Johnny began, voice scratchy. “I don’t think I ever quite caught your name.”

Despite themselves, RJ smiled a tiny bit. “It’s RJ,” they said quietly. “I were a name tag.”

“Yeah, but I have to decide whether r’not I want berry blast or nutella ice cream every day!” Johnny protested. “I can’t spend time lookin’ at your name tag!”

RJ’s smile was hidden in the dark. The two of them delved into silence again. 

(The streetlight was barely touching RJ’s ankles. They weren’t even sitting in in an alley or anything, just a ditch on the edge of the sidewalk.)

“So,” RJ tries. “Um, was it Isabel?”

Johnny’s neck whipped around. “What? No!”

He slouches a little, hands on his knees, and says, “She’s not… I mean, we don’t fight like that. It’s not…” He trails off into silence, and the wall against RJ’s back feels very cold again.

Their silence is broken when Johnny’s friends come bounding back. “Johnny!” the one with the scar says. “We got you your-”

The one with the scar hesitates when they see RJ, then finishes with, “...band-aids.” The silence returns to the dark. 

Johnny stands, hands on thighs, light catching on his hair and turning it fire-engine red, then turns back to RJ. His eyes are smiling more than they ought to while they’re bruised and bloodied, and he offers his hand to RJ. 

RJ takes it. 

The four of them walk into the streetlight together, not quite in a row but close. Without words, they end up in a convenience store just around the block from Sweet Confections and Toppings. It is bright with fluorescent lights, and the girl behind the front counter looks at them a bit strangely. Also slightly scared, seeing as Johnny’s covered in blood and Stephen- the one with the scar was called Stephen- has quite a bit too. 

RJ clears their throat. “So,” they try. “Do you guys want a slushy or something or something?”

Stephen’s eyes light up like a manic child’s. He dashes to the machines on the back wall, saying-yelling, “I hope someone other than me’s paying!” Johnny follows, albeit a bit slower.

Ollie sighs and looked down at RJ. They are probably both thinking that Stephen is too injured to want a slushy. 

“So,” Ollie starts, leaning an arm on the counter. The girl behind it looks frozen. 

“How’s the job?” Ollie asks quietly. He doesn’t seem to expect an answer. RJ doesn’t give one.

(Sometimes it is difficult for RJ to get out words. It is the reason Suzy likes talking to them, and also the reason RJ isn’t close to many people. Sometimes, though, RJ chooses not speak.) (Those times are rarer.)

Ollie rolled his head up to face the ceiling. Breathing loudly, he says, “I hope we didn’t cause too much trouble with the- the thing.”

RJ cannot form a sentence.

“They- I don’t think they really get that it’s… really, really dumb. I mean, maybe Ed does, but that kid’s an enigma.”

Which one was Ed- the blond one or the ginger? RJ wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter, really.

“And I just sort of- wanted to say sorry.”

Silence. 

“So, um, sorry. About all of this.”

(They had felt uneasy when they saw Johnny sitting on the ground. Like they needed to take flight, but still wanted to help.)

Ollie looks down at RJ again, and they could almost find words. “Yes,” they say, voice sticking in their throat. “Um, thank you.”

Stephen and Johnny reappear from around the aisle, both holding two drinks. Johnny has the brighter ones, and they clash very well with his hair and black eye.

“Ah, sorry, but we actually got smoothies.” Johnny says. His eyes are happy, happier than they’re ever seemed to be in RJ’s shop.

“Well, we got you a slushy!” Stephen says brightly. “It’s berry- flavored. Also, I really have no money. As in. One of you guys have to buy these.”

Sighing without noise, RJ takes out their wallet. Stephen’s eyes light up again. 

(These people, RJ thinks, are very brash. And also very, very kind.)

The girl behind the counter- Zoey, her name tag reads- looks bored out of her mind. It’s probably how RJ looks on their shift, though. At least she doesn’t have to deal with a war in the middle of her shop. 

(Well, she probably doesn’t have to deal with a war in her shop.)

 

(Cody doesn’t much like the idea of slushies in the store, but he does approve of milkshakes.)

 

 

Ed first talks to RJ on a Tuesday. He is waiting in line, tapping his fingers on his thigh, when he sees RJ at the counter and lights up. He spent the entire time waiting for his turn at the counter bouncing, and remained bouncing as he made his order. As he watched RJ make up his order, he bounced. As he said nothing, he bounced. 

It almost put RJ off. They hadn’t exactly known Ed for being the most talkative of people, but it was a little weird to be excited to not talk to someone. He seems thrilled to just watch RJ scoop out his triple cone. 

Even when Ed has taken his order from RJ, paid, and sat down, he still seems bouncy. He sits on one of the hard metal benches and watches them, licking his cone once in awhile to make sure it doesn’t drip. 

RJ is decidedly weirded out. 

They’re so weirded out that fifteen minutes later, when their break starts, they sidle up to Ed and sit on the bench with him. 

(In all honesty, RJ still isn’t quite sure why they did that. Maybe it was because they had never seen Ed alone before. Maybe it was because he was clearly a little wound up, to say the least. Maybe it was because he was sitting outside in cold weather without a coat and RJ was worried that he would die.)

Neither of them say anything for a while, Ed crunching on his cone and RJ looking straight ahead. It is silent, until Ed begins asking RJ about the milkshake flavors. 

RJ doesn’t say much in response- it’s hard for them to force out words- but Ed doesn’t seem to care. He bounces sentences and ideas off RJ, some of them actually sinking in. He talks for a long time about strawberry whipped cream, something he firmly believes should exist, and RJ manages to form a sentence about chocolate sauce and Cool Whip, one of their vices. It’s surprisingly nice. Ed doesn’t seem to care that RJ doesn’t have much to say. 

RJ’s afternoon gets weirder, though, when Max walks up and dumps his bag next to RJ. 

(They don’t know much about Max. He’s rough, and brash, and responsible for a bloody battle in RJ’s workplace. Also he really likes marshmallows on fudge sundaes.)

Max begins complaining the minute he sits across from them, interrupting Ed’s spiel on pixel art. 

“Little sisters, Ed, could come together and form a union of little sister-hood and murder people. And, wouldn’t you know RJ, no one would care, because all adults think they’re angels.”

RJ blinks at Max knowing their name. Sure, they were wearing a name tag, but nobody looked at those. Max continued complaining about his family as Ed nodded thoughtfully in the background. 

All things considered, RJ enjoyed it. Max didn’t try to make them talk, like Suzy might’ve, but still included them. And Ed just did whatever he wanted, and that was… nice. RJ wasn’t quite used to feeling like that.  
(Despite causing bloodshed, Max has an excellent sense of humor.)

(Ed approves of turquoise hair, too.)

(These people are a lot nicer than RJ expected. They came very close to apologizing for everything.)

 

RJ still doesn’t know why the two gangs hate each other. 

They had asked Suzy about once, figuring that she knew everything, but apparently professional secret-finders didn’t know. Dimitri, when asked, just looked uncomfortable for two seconds before faking sleep. Cody began a speech on respecting people’s decisions and ending age old conflict. He also didn’t seem to notice when RJ left in the middle. 

Violet and Lisa were the only people to help. As long-time customers in Sweet Confections and Toppings, they were some of the only people ever to talk to the workers there. And the only ones that did and actually made sense. 

They cornered RJ one day (Honestly, they did the weirdest things on dates), and gave it to him straight. 

“Look, kid,” Lisa said, glancing around as if people were watching. “Have you been asking people about Izzy and Redhead fighting?”

RJ blinked, and Violet took that as a yes. 

“No one here would know,” she told them. “If you want to know this shop’s secrets, you have to go to the source of them.”

They both left after that, leading to the situation RJ was in now: sitting with Ollie Oop at a table in the back, asking about turf battles. (It is not a situation RJ ever thought they’d be in, yet it is surprisingly normal seeming.)

Ollie purses his already thin lips till they’re invisible. 

“RJ,” he begins. “It’s- the whole thing is sort of complicated.”

RJ says nothing, and Ollie feels the need to continue. 

“It’s just- neither of them really know how to deal with feelings, so they just fight stuff. And it’s not even always stuff that’s related! This whole thing is just a really big problem with emotions.”

“Who?” RJ asks quietly. Ollie gives him a look, like, do you have to ask?

And RJ doesn’t have to, not really. It’s obvious. 

 

Tomorrow, or maybe the next day, or maybe next week, RJ will be working the cash register when they witness the most peaceful thing ever to occur in Sweet Confections and Toppings. Isabel Guerra and Johnny Jhonny will stand next to each other in line, without fighting, or talking, or even looking at each other.Truly a miracle of the ages, RJ will think, and then they will hand Stephen a milkshake, finish their shift, and step outside to talk to Max about camera phones. 

Two weeks after that, or maybe a month later, or maybe a year, they will watch Isaac O'Connor and Stephen talk to each other about cartoons, and they will see Suzy and Isabel and Johnny having a perfectly peaceful snowball fight, and Ollie and Colin ordering hot chocolate, and it will be good.

**Author's Note:**

> RJ, my tiny bab. also can you see the journalism club+ Cody (and Jeff) as their co-workers? i'm eighty per cent sure they might lock them all in the break room at some point. also, i would like RJ to have all the friends. rj my tiny bab please be friends with everyone i cryy
> 
> this was meant to be multiple chapters, but a) i cannot write, so it didn't work, and b) i wrote the entire thing and it wasn't very long


End file.
